Story Telling: A Journey in Another World

My story took place in the Netherlands one year ago. Since then my relation to time changed. I hardly know what days or years we are. But I suppose that it is not important.

I was studying transpersonal psychology and I wanted to experiment with Psilocybin and altered change of mind. As soon as I thought I should try, the opportunity arose. A friend talked to me about a five-day retreat and I registered. The retreat was in the Netherlands, a country I appreciate since I worked and lived there for four years.

When arrived in Amsterdam I met a group of very different participants. The facilitators were very open as some participants. I will not enter into details of the retreat preparation, how facilitators manage beautifully to set up confidence between us (they used for example speech wand, music, dancing, singing,  drawing…). What changed my life was the experience itself and the encounter with my black male counterpart, Krishna, wounded by exile as myself.

I went to two different experiences on two different days.

On the first day, I reconnected with my lineage made up of exiled men and warriors, killing and being killed. They were in a field of suffering and from my body came out a black heavy flow as if I was pregnant with all this pain and I have to expulse it. It was like a river of pain, and grief that I was carrying and that was leaving my body. I saw also mothers rocking invisible babies, her pain, her awe, her suffering in front of the emptiness in her arms.

Too many wars, slaughters and death.

When I came back from this journey, I felt the need to apologize on behalf of my ancestors as I was part of this misery. I also saw the brown heart of the earth beating and exposed.

The second day was different because the pain has been evacuated. I then contemplated love. I understood I was here and now to give love, helping people find their place. I saw myself as a flower which opens to blow love and then shut down. I saw people, following each other, all white dressed, climbing a hill as a procession. A bright white light was illuminating the picture. There were souls going to the light, driven by Love.

It was a changing experience.

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