“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within your control. And others are not. Only after you accept this fundamental rule and learn to distinguish between what you can and cannot control does a state of inner tranquility and outer efficiency become possible.”
— Epictetus
We all experience times when we feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. What if, instead of getting carried away, we paused to apply this timeless wisdom?
This short guide invites you to find your center through a simple three-step process.
Identify the problem
Start by facing what's bothering you. Put words to what's wrong. Name it.
"I'm tense because of an upcoming meeting."
"I feel powerless in the face of a decision made by a colleague."
"I am sad after a personal conflict."
Analyzing the causes: distinguishing the essential
Then ask yourself:
👉 What can I control?
👉 And what can't I control?
Create two columns. Be honest. This simple sorting can already calm you down. Here are some examples:
| ✅ Under my control | 🚫 Out of my control |
|---|---|
| My thoughts, my judgments | Other people's thoughts |
| My emotions (through mindfulness) | Other people's emotions |
| My reactions, my choices, my attitude | The behavior of my children or colleagues |
| My decisions to take care of myself | The weather, the traffic, the past |
| My level of commitment | The gaze or judgments of others |
| The meaning I give to events | The actions and values of a company |
Act on what depends on you
Once you've identified what's right for you, take action.
Example :
You wake up at 3 a.m., stressed about a meeting. You have no control over how the meeting will go.
But you can:
Meditate to calm your mind
Visualize the meeting as yourself looking calm and confident.
Prepare your notes, breathe deeply, and sleep more
Acting on what is under your control brings you back to your personal power, to your inner sovereignty. This is it, the true freedom.
Little reminder: you are responsible for…
What you choose to feed into yourself (thoughts, beliefs, emotions)
What you create, undertake, transmit
The way you respect yourself, listen to yourself, love yourself
Your happiness here and now
But you are not responsible for…
The weather, other people's delays, government decisions
The emotions or judgments of others
The love you are given (or not)
What you cultivate internally is reflected in your way of being in the world.
Regaining self-control is already transforming the world.
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